My Personal Guide to Social Platforms (or When It's OK to Talk About Mankinis)
Being "real" online isn't all that complicated. Here's what I've figured out after being active on various social platforms for nearly two decades now.
Mankinis really do enter into this; be patient.
I started using social platforms for work and life in 2008.
Between then and now I’ve been active as
just me
the slightly more professional version of myself, and
the ghost in the machine behind multiple businesses.
I’ve primarily lived on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and, most recently, Substack; with a dabble here or there into YouTube (now more than a dabble), Pinterest, and Instagram.
Here are 11 “rules” I’ve mostly lived by and stumbled into since I created my first LinkedIn account.
Each platform has its own culture and quirks, but the fundamentals of how to behave online don’t really change.
Quick note: social ain’t real life; get outside and touch some grass and break bread with friends and family in the real world.
1. Find a dashboard or system you like and stick to it.
Whether that’s Hootsuite (I used Hootsuite for a decade), Buffer, native scheduling, or just the app itself — doesn’t matter. As the number of folks you follow increases, using the raw feed alone gets harder and harder. I like having columns and filters to track what matters. The point: pick a tool that helps you manage the noise, and keep using it.
Other advantages:
Built-in URL shorteners or analytics in some tools.
The ability to quickly follow hashtags, lists, or topics you care about.
Managing multiple accounts from one place.
Note that I’m not actively using a dashboard at the moment. However, as I add clients, that’ll change — especially if I’m involved in their social content.
2. Create “favorites” lists.
I suck at this and waste time because of it. But creating a list of favorites allows you to enjoy social media more. On Twitter they’re called Lists, on Instagram it’s “Close Friends,” on TikTok it’s Favorites. If there’s a way to do it on Substack, please let me know – I’ve been making liberal use of the “save” button to stash writers and work I want to see again. My “Following” Notes feed is finally beginning to resemble what I want to see.
And I dip out periodically to check for other interesting folks and ideas I’m missing. It’s an evergreeen task.
Same idea: shortcut to the people and content you actually want to see.
3. Create the feed you want.
This is an addendum to the point above: the algorithm feeds you what you like to eat. Tired of seeing the same five hustlebros (or sisters) in your feed? Mute or block them. Every time you click, like, or read something on a platform that sends a signal to give you more of that to the algorithm.
Act accordingly.
4. Embrace FOMO.
You’re going to miss interesting posts and conversations. It’s OK to turn it off. (Unless you’re a company using social as a customer outreach platform; then you better figure that out and not miss anything.)
It’s impossible to keep up with the volume of posts on a single platform, much less across a few. Do your best and then get on living your life.
5. Be generous with your sharing.
Depending on the platform guru/though-leader, there are various ratios of “your posts” to “sharing other people’s stuff.” Boils down to: share more than you spout off about your own company or genius theories.
Hmmmm, I need to be better at this. I’ve gotten too selfish.
6. If you’re spamming people with automation; stop it.
Auto-DMs, random “tag-everyone” blasts, fake personalized comments — stop it now.
If you have time to genuinely welcome new followers or respond thoughtfully, wunderbar (and how do you have the time? No, really, please share that secret). If not, we’ll understand — just keep being interesting and human, and we’ll keep following.
That said, a nice welcome email to your newsletter (automate these) or personal DM on LinkedIn are good things to do.
As for using AI to generate your LinkedIn comments . . . NO. Just no.
7. Schedule posts.
This used to be heresy. I always figured that if Guy Kawasaki (an early days Enterprise 2.0 influencer and one of the folks responsible for marketing the early Macs) did it, then it was OK for me.
Social feeds move fast — posts disappear. Folks dip in and out at different times. Scheduling the same content more than once increases the chance someone sees it. It also saves you from dropping 10 posts in a row into someone’s feed. Spread ’em out.
I’ve been using SocialBee for this. Sure, sure; I can hear some of you “but it’s not authentic or whatever.” Are you sharing your own content? Is it good? Are you proud of it? Share it more than once. The easiest way to do this is to schedule it.
This doesn’t mean ONLY schedule posts. I mix it up. Some days I have a lot to say and my Substack Notes feeds reflects that. Other days, not so much. You can’t schedule on Notes. I think I like that, but it’s also be nice to be able to prep a few in advance for when inspiration goes dry.
8. Be yourself.
For us shy types, sometimes this is sometimes easier to do behind a keyboard. Remember, it’s OK to have a personality, even when posting officially on behalf of your company. [Caveat: if you're an ass — unless that’s your shtick — at least give being nice a try.]
How much of yourself? Only you can decide that.
Some folks’ writing is entirely personal, with few if any filters about what they’ll write about. That’s OK. For them.
Me, I’m “me” online – you wouldn’t meet me out in the wild and get whiplash between my online and offline personas (they’re the same). But I’m not here to share the inner workings of my psyche. I’m here to help folks create useful content that grows their business; and to attract paying clients. I’ll always have some elements of my personal life in my writing, but some things are always going to be private.
Being authentic doesn’t mean sharing everything about yourself.
9. Figure out why you’re using social.
Not every platform is for you or your company — and that’s OK. Are you posting company news? Attracting customers? Customer service? Selling stuff? Learning? Tracking competitors? Establishing yourself as a smart guy/gal? Or just dabbling and following celebrities?
Whatever it is, figure it out and do that. As near as I can tell, there is no one path to social media truth or success.
I’m online to share what I know (and continue to learn) as a way to attract paying clients.
10. Be nice.
It’s easy to misunderstand meaning online. Nuance is hard — whether it’s 280 characters, a 60-second reel, or a Substack essay. Change your default mental setting to “They’re not trying to offend me.” Remember it’s a real person on the other end of your diatribe.
On the other hand, don’t be a punching bag. The olde skool rule remains: don’t feed the trolls. No one is entitled to your time or attention: mute and block away.
11. Don’t forget to enjoy yourself. HAVE FUN!
Yes, it’s true, unless you’re a restaurant critic (or eating something truly worthy of the word “epic”), no one really cares what you had for lunch (move that conversation for your close friends to enjoy elsewhere).
But amidst the struggle for visibility — have fun. Engage in a random conversation. There’s a difference between having a personality and making your company look stupid. Here’s how you tell: if you’re mentally looking over your shoulder as you are about to hit “post,” you might want to switch to an “opinions are my own” account.
And that leads us to mankinis. First off, it’s never really OK to talk about mankinis.
Because . . . it’s just not a good sartorial choice. Ever.
However.
I don’t remember how this started, but in 2013 there was a Friday afternoon Twitter conversation going on about — something.
Someone, maybe me, brought up the word “mankini” to which @chris_P_walker put up the most God-awful photo of a group of non-in-shape men in black mankinis (well, I suppose “round” is a shape). At this point, I switched from @AIIMcmty to @bduhon to continue the conversation.
I also learned to click on links from Chris with eyes slightly averted (12 years later, still a good rule). On the plus side, after numerous other mankini-related comments (all as “me” as in the @bduhon me); we have the fantastic unicorn in a mankini image that opens this post.
And apologies for the long title — too much Rocky and Bullwinkle as a kid — “Hey, Rocky! Watch me…” anyway. Thanks to Damian Webber for his #Avatarondemand original.
I hope these personal rules of the social media road are helpful for you. What’d I miss or get wrong? Love to hear how you decide how much “you” to share on the socials.
Thanks for reading.
Comments, criticisms, and witticisms welcomed.
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