Brave of you to be on the apps at all - they are so intense. It really is hard to make those long-term connections when you're more of a writer type than a talker type, or at least I think it is.
They certainly can be intense (especially for women — why men feel the need to send “anatomy” picks; at least unsolicited; eludes me)! But, all in all, more positive (eHarmony probably the best of the bunch followed by Bumble) than negative and I’ve met women I’ve fallen/nearly fallen for I never would’ve met in my daily life (which involves me, sitting here, typing while staring out my 2nd floor window at the row houses across the street, the gym, Aldi, museums, and the weekly beer at Checkerspot).
I’m one of those talkative introvert types though; I can have a conversation with about anyone. So I don’t have a problem chatting. When I realize I’m not tired of talking to someone, I know there’s potential!
Though I have discovered that if there’s no clicking in the online conversations there’s no point in meeting IRL (though connecting online doesn’t always equal whatever that thing is that when you meet someone in real life has you go “oh, ok, I could get to know them better.”)
That’s a surprisingly fitting comparison. Both require patience, honesty, and the ability to handle silence without taking it too personally. In the end, you’re just looking for the right fit.
Never been on a dating app, but I really relate to the lessons you drew from it about outreach and dealing with rejection. Sorry, your relationship ended, Bryant :(
Please do! Yup, around end of November started to feel like a much longer-term relationship than "dating." I guess I jinxed it. What ya gonna do? Onward and upward.
Mine was that I was going to lean in to dirty old man mode. Ran into a problem: everyone under 30 looks like a child. Stupid freaking maturity.
My daughters also did the dating math thing and apparently, if I've updated it correctly since they first told me this a few years ago -- no one under 41 is allowed. LOL. Which ends up being about perfect anyway.
Always found it remarkable that no matter how many times it happens, always hurts. We disregard it, but if you can find it once, you'll find it again. Glad to hear you're back up and at it.
Well, plus side, if it hurts then you were on the right track at least. Broke up with someone at the end of 2024 after 6 months that was on the verge of turning into a serious long-term relationship and while it sucked because she was an awesome person, she wasn't the awesome person for me. It sucked, but it didn't hurt. Oofah, that sounds more callous than it was!
Dating break to focus on work and losing weight, but I'll get back in the saddle again in a few months. Or sooner or later, whenever it feels like the right time to put the heart out for auction again.
Brave of you to be on the apps at all - they are so intense. It really is hard to make those long-term connections when you're more of a writer type than a talker type, or at least I think it is.
They certainly can be intense (especially for women — why men feel the need to send “anatomy” picks; at least unsolicited; eludes me)! But, all in all, more positive (eHarmony probably the best of the bunch followed by Bumble) than negative and I’ve met women I’ve fallen/nearly fallen for I never would’ve met in my daily life (which involves me, sitting here, typing while staring out my 2nd floor window at the row houses across the street, the gym, Aldi, museums, and the weekly beer at Checkerspot).
I’m one of those talkative introvert types though; I can have a conversation with about anyone. So I don’t have a problem chatting. When I realize I’m not tired of talking to someone, I know there’s potential!
Though I have discovered that if there’s no clicking in the online conversations there’s no point in meeting IRL (though connecting online doesn’t always equal whatever that thing is that when you meet someone in real life has you go “oh, ok, I could get to know them better.”)
"When I realize I’m not tired of talking to someone, I know there’s potential!" Exactly this.
That’s a surprisingly fitting comparison. Both require patience, honesty, and the ability to handle silence without taking it too personally. In the end, you’re just looking for the right fit.
Thanks, George. That fit can be elusive!
Never been on a dating app, but I really relate to the lessons you drew from it about outreach and dealing with rejection. Sorry, your relationship ended, Bryant :(
I recommend staying married to what seems to be outside looking in a lovely hubby! Back on an even keel, but while I've had worse, this one hurt.
Thanks, Neela, on both counts.
That’s great advice.
I will listen to you, Bryant.
I remember you mentioned this relationship one time in our conversations.
I am so, so sorry.
Please do! Yup, around end of November started to feel like a much longer-term relationship than "dating." I guess I jinxed it. What ya gonna do? Onward and upward.
I used to always jokingly say that if, God forbid, anything ever happened in my marriage, I was heading back to NYC.
I don’t know why.
That was just the plan.
Mine was that I was going to lean in to dirty old man mode. Ran into a problem: everyone under 30 looks like a child. Stupid freaking maturity.
My daughters also did the dating math thing and apparently, if I've updated it correctly since they first told me this a few years ago -- no one under 41 is allowed. LOL. Which ends up being about perfect anyway.
ain’t nothing like your own children installing an age-based firewall on your dating life hahahahaha
another banger, and your images are the best ever.
Thanks, Cookie! Now the pressure mounts!
I’ve always enjoyed trying to match illustrations to ideas — loved the few chances I had to create infographics with a designer.
Great analogy. Sorry to hear your most recent relationship ended.
Thanks, Craig. Yeah, knocked me sideways for a couple of weeks, but back up and moving ahead.
Always found it remarkable that no matter how many times it happens, always hurts. We disregard it, but if you can find it once, you'll find it again. Glad to hear you're back up and at it.
Well, plus side, if it hurts then you were on the right track at least. Broke up with someone at the end of 2024 after 6 months that was on the verge of turning into a serious long-term relationship and while it sucked because she was an awesome person, she wasn't the awesome person for me. It sucked, but it didn't hurt. Oofah, that sounds more callous than it was!
Dating break to focus on work and losing weight, but I'll get back in the saddle again in a few months. Or sooner or later, whenever it feels like the right time to put the heart out for auction again.