13 Pennies and a Mental Shift Out of the Blue: Why I Suddenly Feel Like a Writer (After 20+ Years of Writing)
How three disconnected things have shifted my mental image of myself to thinking that, "Yes, I am a writer."
I’ve published words that people have read since 1994.
Even so, I’ve only begun to think of myself as a writer recently (and even more forcefully on the day I write this).
Yes. I know how contradictory that sounds.
Welcome to my brain. Think you’re confused, I live here!
Two recent revelations – and another one yesterday! – have expanded how I see myself professionally.
Impatient? Check out my Too Long; Didn’t Read video of this post:
The Accidental Editor
My default professional setting for how I see myself has been “editor” since 1997. I’ve also had other professional roles, including webinar planner/host, newsletter editor/writer, online community manager, inbound marketing specialist, and even a VP of Content Strategy.
Whatever the role or employer, lurking in the background has always been the idea of “I’m an editor.”
I feel like I’ve been one of those baby animals that imprint “Mama” on the first creature they see. My first job was editor; editor am I.
As I work towards setting myself up as a business to make money stringing words together, I’ve suddenly found that 27-year-old label no longer fits.
I never intended to become an editor, though I had always liked the idea of “being an editor.”
Usually, that included delusions of The Devil Wears Prada editorial excess and liquid lunches. Minor aside: our editor (before he left abruptly, deleting everything he could) returned from a liquid lunch with so much liquid on board that he spent 10 minutes attempting to load paper into a printer. There may have been mocking and laughter after. It looked kinda like . . .
I had no idea what editing a magazine was like. With a French/International Relations undergrad double major and a Masters in International Politics, I never thought I would find out. I was going to work for a think tank, the Congressional Research Service, State Department . . . something along those lines.
I digress. So, accidental . . . John Harney, the editor at the time, hired a different intern for the Spring semester of 1995 (apparently, she was a tedious nightmare). After whacking her and then striking out with a few others on the list, he got to me. I accepted.
The next day, a military history magazine (I love military history) called to interview for their editorial intern position. Despite wanting that position badly, I said no as I had already accepted the AIIM internship (and it paid). A combination of a need for pocket money and hating going back on my word got me into AIIM.
Fast forward a couple of years and I had finished my Masters, the tail end while Assistant Editor at AIIM. I was beginning to interview for positions in my field when the new editor, who had taken over from John, left abruptly and angrily (he deleted every file and email related to future issues – that was fun!). I took over with the October 1997 issue (so August-ish is when I became editor).
How unlikely was my arrival at AIIM? When cleaning out an old filing cabinet a few years later, I found the resumes from the internship – mine was in the “No Way” folder.
I Write, But That’s Not a Career - And I’m Not a Writer
Before you fellow writers get up in arms: of course it’s a career! It just wasn’t mine.
I was an editor. Writing was part of the job. As Shaggy would say, “Wasn’t me.”
I planned our 10 issues for each year. I wrote some of the articles; cajoled freebies from industry experts, vendors, and association members; and assigned a few to freelance writers.
At some point in 1999ish, with (literally) our mailroom guy who was teaching himself to code and my assistant editor, we created a website because we thought it’d be a good idea. I started writing and editing “online exclusives” (pre-blog, all content was hand-coded into a database).
Emails. Social media. Infographics. Webinar descriptions. Webinar plans. Magazine articles. Posters (old school infographics!). Blogs. Whitepapers.
All followed over the years.
I still never thought of myself as a writer.
Again, writing was part of my job, not THE job.
Stephen King. George R. R. Martin. Melanie Rawn. Annie Proulx. Maya Angelou. Faulkner. Hemingway.
Those folks are writers.
Me? I was just pulling useful content together for my audience to help them understand and implement ECM technology.
That’s changed. The first step was thinking of myself as a business.
I Am a Business of One
From Donald Miller’s Business Made Simple (and his Hero on a Mission to a lesser extent) I’ve learned to think of myself as a business (and that the fundamental principles of business success aren’t complicated).
From cog in a machine to an independent contractor who understands how business works and strives to add value to a business – whether for someone else or for oneself.
This has been a life-altering shift in perspective that I’m still coming to grips with.
We all have agency. This book helped crystalize a few amorphous thoughts in my head. For much of my career, I’ve had a simplistic view of the business world and work. You do your job. You get paid. You do your job extremely well, you get noticed and earn more money, have more input, etc.
As we all know, that’s not quite how it works.
For me, this book helped me shed that last shackle of thinking you owe a business your time. You owe someone paying you your best effort – of course! You don’t owe them your loyalty; at least automatically. It’s OK to look out for your best interests too.
I know, simple. Sometimes it’s the simplest of things that hold you back though.
Yo, You’re a Writer
The second turn of the wheel was during a recent writing challenge from Ayo Awosika in The Writers’ League. I said something about not feeling like a writer. His response:
If you write. You are a writer. Period.
It’s funny how words hit you differently at different points in your life. I’ve read that before. Hell, I’ve TOLD PEOPLE THAT.
Never applied it to myself.
Having someone smack you upside the head with the obvious can give you the wake up call you need.
13 Pennies in My Account
13 cents.
It's weird how absurdly happy I feel about making 13 cents on something I wrote.
While I thought it was cool to see the column I “wrote” (it was condensed press releases) in print back in 1994 and it was even cooler when I had a case study in 1995, it didn’t make me feel like a writer. Seeing my name on bylines online or in print since then, nothing.
But this one here on Medium, this is the first one that is me – my thoughts and opinions about a topic I care about and want to write about – I've ever made any money on.
Irony alert: an article on AI and workflow I wrote for Workflow Magazine was just accepted by the editor today. I’m getting paid more for that one.
Didn’t make me feel more like a writer while I was writing it or even submitting it. Been there. Done that.
The article here on Medium that I’ve gotten the 13 pennies from . . . I keep looking at the page.
It’s a start.
It’s validation, however small, that it’s possible.
I don’t expect to be able to survive financially as that “business of one” through Medium (though that’d be wonderful). I see my writing evolving into the stuff I do here and on Substack as content marketing for myself – and (fingers crossed) bonus money.
It just feels different being financially rewarded from writing something I WANTED to write versus something I was PAID to write.
I’m a writer.
Who knew?
Anyways, one giant step for me, zero steps for mankind.
Now excuse me while I go find a gumball machine to spend my windfall.
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And here I always thought you were a writer.